Lost Your Much-ness?

I posted on Twitter last week that I feel like I’ve “lost my muchness.”

A couple of weeks ago I finally saw the new Tim Burton version of “Alice in Wonderland.” I’ll admit that it was never among my favorite fairy tales, but I still wanted to see what turned out to be (as expected) a feast for the eyes. In the movie, Alice is transported to Wonderland and square in the middle of struggle of good vs. evil. It had been foretold that an Alice would defeat the jabberwocky, a super-scary dragon-like creature. Alice doesn’t think she’s the one. The whole movie chronicles her journey from being afraid to finding the courage to be who she was meant to be – a hero.

Along the way, she comes across all of the characters who make the story so whimsical – the silly (and not very smart)Tweedledee and Tweedledumb, the evil Red Queen, the elusive Cheshire Cat and the quirky Mad Hatter. In the movie, the Mad Hatter is expertly handled by Johnny Depp, an actor who I can only imagine is pretty quirky in real life. At one point along the journey, he looks at Alice and says, “You’ve lost your muchness,” meaning the child version of Alice was much bolder and courageous than the adult version standing before him.

For some reason, that dialogue resonated with me. I don’t usually write personal essay-style blog posts, leaving that to my friends who seem to be much more comfortable with that style than I (Katie, Angel and Sara Beth are just a few). But something about the “muchness” quote begged me to write. I think I identify with it so much because when I was younger I feel like I knew what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be. And, while those things are still in my heart, I some how feel beaten down a bit (professionally) to the point that I don’t feel as confident to embrace them as I once did. I’ve shaped my adult life be being a “do-er,” rather than a talker… someone who faced challenges head on, even seeking them out deliberately. It’s something that I’m committed to getting back and embracing once more.

What about you? Do you feel like a job or a challenge or a relationship has created so much friction in your life that it feels like pieces of yourself are chipped away? Even as I’m typing this, the words “we were meant to live for so much more, but we lost ourselves” (song by Switchfoot) is playing in the background. If you feel like a piece or pieces of you are missing, be committed to getting them back. Your drive, your bravery, your passion, your zest for life and the wonder opportunities that exist for you and around you… those are too precious to allow anything to take them away. I know it’s a tough economy out there and sometimes it seems like we’re presented with limited options, but it’s so important to never feel locked into one path. Are you truly thriving? Or just existing day-to-day? Find the thing that makes you tick and pursue with with the full force of everything you have.

I’m committed to getting my muchness back – are you?


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One Response to “Lost Your Much-ness?”

  1. sara Says:

    Way too many thoughts to leave as a comment. http://sterlingandtopaz.blogspot.com/2010/05/just-finished-reading-this-post-over-at.html

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